Veteran Joel Sardi on becoming a dad of two when you have quadriplegia

In this episode of Dad Starts Now, we’re joined by Joel Sardi, a military veteran and dad of two who became a father after sustaining a spinal cord injury that left him with quadriplegia. Joel talks candidly about life before and after his injury, how his identity shifted and what it really means to show up as a dad when the physical side of parenting looks different. He shares how he and his partner navigated IVF, pregnancy and the early months of parenthood, including the challenge of feeling like a spectator at times and how emotional presence and support have become central to his role as a dad and partner.

Episode highlights

• In 2014, a three-storey fall shattered his C5 and left him with quadriplegia, and he described the next year in hospital as “really dark” — but also the start of a long identity shift into “mark two” Joel
• When it came time to start a family, IVF was straightforward for them because his fertility wasn’t the issue — it was sexual function after the spinal injury
• Because he couldn’t “fix” things physically during his partner’s pregnancy, he focused on empathy and listening
• He couldn’t do the usual hands-on baby care and said that made him feel like a “spectator” for the first six months, which was a real challenge
• He said what surprised him most was the relationship dynamic shift after the first baby — after years of it being just him and Elisa, everything changed overnight
• He’s found more freedom and joy as the girls got more independent — like his youngest learning to do her seatbelt — and he loves being able to take them out solo
• He wants his girls to grow up with resilience and courage, and he links that back to his own mindset of “adapt and overcome” from the army and living with disability

Appearing in this episode

Joel Sardi

Joel is a veteran and father of two who became a dad after a spinal cord injury, using assisted reproductive technology to conceive. He shares his experience of fatherhood and disability to help broaden conversations about fertility, masculinity and what being a dad can look like.

Dr Tim Moss (Host)

Tim is Healthy Male’s Health Content Manager and a biomedical scientist with expertise in male reproductive health, translating complex medical evidence into clear, practical advice for men.