Think trying for a baby just means plenty of sex? Well, you’re only kind of right. There’s a bit more to it, and understanding the ins and outs (😉) of conception can help you take an active (😉) role in the process.
Here’s what men need to understand about conception and how you can improve your chances of success.
First, get a preconception health check
This can be done by yourself or with your partner. Tell your GP that you’re going to start trying for a baby and they’ll talk with you about your medical history, any behavioural changes you should make to improve your health and any screening tests or immunisations you might need. They might do an STI test (even if you’ve been with your partner for a while), a physical examination or send you for a blood test.
Understanding conception
Let’s go back to basics. A baby is made when a sperm cell (from you) joins with an egg cell (from your partner) to form a zygote (the fertilised egg (zygote). Natural fertilisation usually happens in one of the female’s fallopian tubes after sexual intercourse, when ejaculation releases millions of sperm, which travel through the female reproductive tract towards an egg.
After fertilisation, the single-cell zygote starts dividing (this process is called cleavage) and moving down the fallopian tube towards the uterus, where it can implant in the lining and begin a pregnancy. This whole process – fertilisation, cleavage and implantation – is called conception.
Can certain sex positions increase the likelihood of pregnancy?
No, there is no evidence that any specific sex position measurably increases the chance of conception. And no, specific sex positions cannot influence the gender of your child.
Understanding the menstrual cycle
A female’s menstrual cycle is a recurring process where her body prepares for a possible pregnancy, then “resets” if pregnancy doesn’t happen. A normal menstrual cycle varies from 21 to 38 days (if your partner’s cycle is regularly outside of this window, they should see a doctor).
How often should men ejaculate for sperm quality?
Ejaculating regularly (about every one to two days) helps keep sperm healthy. It’s linked to better-moving, more active sperm and less damage to sperm DNA. Waiting too long between ejaculations (more than four to seven days) can actually reduce sperm quality, rather than improve it.
Maximising the chances of conception
Pregnancy is most likely when you have sex during a stage of the menstrual cycle called the “fertile window”, which lasts roughly six days — five days before ovulation and the day of ovulation. While the egg only lives for around 12–24 hours after ovulation, sperm can survive in the female reproductive tract for up to five days.
Making sure there are sperm available within the female reproductive tract for fertilisation during the ‘fertile window’ is the best way to maximise the chances of conception.
What is fertility tracking?
The changes in females’ bodies that happen across their menstrual cycles can be used to predict the timing of ovulation.
Few women’s menstrual cycles are like clockwork. Less than 1% of women using a tracking app had the same cycle length across four consecutive cycles. Over half of the users (52.3%) had cycle lengths that varied by five or more days. These variations make prediction of the fertile window an inexact science.
For some couples, tracking ovulation and timing intercourse to try and match the ‘fertile window’ can be a source of stress. The alternative is to simply have sex every one to three days.
The available evidence suggests there’s not a lot of difference in conception rates between couples who try to time intercourse to match the ‘fertile window’ and those who have regular, frequent intercourse.
The clinical trials showing benefits of ovulation tracking have been done by or in collaboration with companies with products that track ovulation. Trials performed independently show no difference in conception rates between couples who timed intercourse and those who didn’t.
What are the chances of conception?
Even with perfect timing, the chance of pregnancy in any one cycle is lower than many people expect — roughly 20–30% for healthy couples under 35. For intercourse outside the ‘fertile window’, the chance of conception is very low.
How long does it take to conceive?
Many factors can affect your chance of conceiving – aside from timing of sex – including age, general health, underlying conditions and lifestyle habits.
About one in nine Australian couples experience fertility problems, with male factors playing a role in roughly half of all cases.
If you’ve been trying for over a year (or six months if your partner is over 35) chat to your GP and get your fertility investigated at the same time. There are various treatments available depending on what’s causing the issue, and many couples go on to have healthy babies after fertility challenges.
Does male age affect fertility?
Yes, age does impact male fertility. While some men can become fathers later in life, sperm quality declines with age and partners of men aged 45 years or older take longer to fall pregnant and have a higher risk of miscarriage. And, although still rare, autism and other developmental conditions are slightly more common in children with older fathers. The risk of your child having a genetic or chromosomal problem is also increased.
Ways men can increase the chances of conception
Ideally, preconception health is something to consider throughout your reproductive years, not just when you’re ready for kids or when you’re having difficulties conceiving. But we know that’s not always the case. Research shows men overestimate their fertility potential and chances of natural conception, and half of men don’t take action to improve preconception health.
Conception isn’t something you just help your partner with; it’s something you can actively influence. Prioritising your wellbeing before conceiving a baby can not only improve your fertility, but also your partner’s pregnancy and the health of your future child.
Male fertility generally depends on the quality of your sperm and there are things you can do to improve your sperm health and fertility. It takes two to three months for new sperm to develop so changes you make now can have benefits pretty quickly.
If you have any health conditions that can affect fertility, identifying and managing them early is key. Some treatments take months to show results, so speaking with a healthcare professional sooner rather than later can make a big difference.
What to do if trying to conceive is getting you down
Trying for a baby for a while without success can be tough and scheduling sex can impact intimacy.
“Most importantly, as a couple, set aside time to talk about how you are feeling,” says fertility and family health psychologist, Narelle Dickinson. “This emotional communication opens the door to maintain intimacy in other ways — by being open and vulnerable with each other you have automatically achieved emotional intimacy — and that is really important while you are going through tough times together.”
Keeping up other kinds of physical intimacy — like holding hands, cuddling, kissing, or giving each other a massage — outside of sex, is also key.
“All of this helps to maintain the closeness while you wait for that positive pregnancy result and means that when it happens, you are still working well as a couple, rather than having forgotten why you were trying to make a baby in the first place,” Dickinson says.
